Posted in Life, Love and Relationships


As soon as you read the headline, one probably thinks oh not another break up groove type of article. Oh well sorry to disappoint you guys but I am so tired of writing about love, because by now I have learned, the only thing I have learned about love is that it does not love me back. Be that as it may, this is not about that.

I woke up with a thought this morning about buyer’s remorse. Have you ever bought something that you do not want? Have you had the courage to return it? Or do you just keep it and think, well I will find use for you later…

What if that thing is a dog? Or a child? Can you really return it to the store? I think not. So here we are, and I guess by now you have figured out that this article is about post traumatic stress disorder. I do not have children, but I wonder if it feels the same way I did when I got my dog Mika this year. I lost a dog named Phoebe. She was such a pleasure and dream in my life. My perfect gift. Well behaved, perfectly trained and such a sweetheart. But she died suddenly after her first injection. I was so hurt and torn up, I just wanted something to fill that hole. I search for a new dog so badly and then I found Mika. But Mika was the total opposite of Phoebe. She didn’t want to come to me the first time I went to pick her up, she cried the whole time the first night. She was pretty difficult. I felt like I didn’t want her anymore. Continue reading “I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE…”

Posted in Life, Love and Relationships


Someone once’s said to me: “Do not expect people to owe you anything…” My thoughts at the time was, who do you think you are you deuce-bag? Be that as it may, I get it now.

What he meant was, do not expect people to treat you the same that you treat them. If you treat others with respect, do not expect them to do the same for you. If you always help others, do not expect everyone to be thankful. If you care so much and give more of yourself than needed, do not expect the other person to return the sentiment. Just like with life, people change like the seasons. Each and every one of us have growing pains. What he meant was do not expect people to respect your views nor spare your feelings. People will hurt you and use you in order to move forward.  Continue reading “I’M ONLY HUMAN”


With the month of August coming to a close I just had to share my thoughts on women in general. Sometimes the female species can be the hardest on their own kind. This is so sad to me.

Woman in general have such busy lives. We also have various roles to play in society. We are mothers, sisters, teachers, lovers, friends, doctors, nurses and caretakers of society. These roles are so important that we sometimes lose ourselves in the process. It so difficult to juggle everything, do we really need to take on the role of reporter as well? By reporter I mean gossip folk, office gossip, “die snuffelgids”and plain out busy body.


Depression is becoming one of the leading killers in this world today. It kills people firstly on the inside, until they have nothing left to give anymore. It cripples you, to a point that you do not know where to go or who you are. People who might have depression and do not want to admit it will say, I am just a bit down. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and the same pattern repeats itself. Days go by. Weeks go by. And the feeling does not seem to change. This is when you know it is more than just sadness.

What is Depression?

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn’t worth living.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn’t a weakness and you can’t simply “snap out” of it. Depression may require long-term treatment. But don’t get discouraged. Most people with depression feel better with medication, psychological counseling or both.

So how do you know you are showing symptoms of depression:

    • Feelings of sadness, fearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
    • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
    • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
    • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
    • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take an extra effort
    • Changes in appetite — often reduced appetite and weight loss, but increased cravings for food and weight gain in some people
    • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
    • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
    • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself for things that aren’t your responsibility
    • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
    • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
    • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Depression is more than just sadness. It is an out-of-body experience. You can’t cheer up  or be more thankful, find the word of God and everything will just fall into place. It is a disease. Like any other illness. What I was trying to say with the previous sentence is most people believe there are no such thing. Christians sometimes find it hard to define, because they believe you find peace in God. Which is true, but God helps the ones who helps themselves. The people who acknowledge they need help and go gets it.

People need to get the message that there is no shame in getting help, before it is too late. Depression is becoming more and more prevalent in the world we live in. We have so many things challenging us in today’s life that can really motivate a person.

If I had to describe being depressed, it would probably be the worst feeling ever. Feeling unlike the person that you use to know. For some the disease takes over and they see no way out but death. This is too heartbreaking, because it is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be restored with the correct medicine. There is different forms and types of depression and I am not going to go into it on this blog. You are more than welcome to go visit : or call their toll-free line : 0800 212223, if you need or want to learn much more than what I have put here on this blog.

My aim with this blog is to break the stigma. And to let everyone know that there is help out there. Many people will use money as an excuse. You can go to your local hospital and go speak to a psychologist or if you’re not comfortable with seeing a shrink, you can go to your own doctor. He will also be able to refer you. To get the proper help you need to go see psychiatrist, if your doctor’s advice or medicine did not help you. He will prescribe anti-depressant with the information that you give him or he will refer you if he feels your condition needs a more specialized approach. You do not have to suffer in silence. There is always help out there. Stop worrying about what other people think! Most people fear things they do not understand, but it is okay. As long as you and God know, the rest does not have a say.

A person’s health is one of the most important things in life. Never risk your physical, emotional or mental health, because you are too ashamed of the stigma attached to it. Be the one to rise up and say, I am a depression survivor! I fight everyday and I win everyday. It is a process but most things in life is a journey and a process. But each process brings amazing experiences.



Posted in Life, Love and Relationships


This weeks theme is something that is too close for comfort. They say 75% of human beings suffer from mental illnesses but never get help for it. With such a high number, why is there such a stigma attach to something that is so important.

I write this morning with such a heavy heart, because I am so passionate about mental illness. More people need to be made aware that it is okay to say I need help. Last week when Chester Bennington allegedly took his own life it hit me so very hard. Reading about what he went through as a child, the abuse he suffered and how that shaped him as a man.

Continue reading ““CRAWLING IN MY SKIN””

Posted in Life, Love and Relationships


Where do we come from? Is the question that came to me, while reading about the turmoil and civil wars in Africa. I was doing research and this question started plaguing me. So I started to do a bit of research.

I wanted to know, what happened to Africa. And the only way I would be able to answer that question was to go back to the beginning of time. Where do we really come from? Was Adam and Eve white? Or was that just someone’s interpretation? How could we really know? According to science, humans was developed. The sun beats down; storms lash the coasts; volcanoes pour hissing lava into the ocean’s waters.These natural jolts fuse simple molecules into more complex ones. Amino acids are formed, then interact with each other, and primitive protein is fashioned, perhaps as a worm-like molecule. Somehow the right molecules get together and the first living cell appears. This first living cell is the great ancestor of all plants and animals on earth, including man. From this first cell, all other forms of life evolved. This tiny first living cell is the father of us all!

So according to science, we are all formed from molecules. The second theory is the concept of Darwinism. This is one of the most popular. All humans began as Ape like figures and over time developed into man.

I stumbled across a real cute poem, stating why we do not come from apes:

Three monkeys dining once in a coconut tree
Were discussing some things that they heard true to be.
“What do you think?”    “Now listen, you two;
Here, monkeys, is something that cannot be true,
That humans descend from our noble race!
Why, it’s shocking–a terrible disgrace.
Whoever heard of a monkey deserting his wife,
Leaving a baby to starve and ruin its life?
And have you ever known of a mother monk
To leave her darling with strangers to bunk?
Their babies are handed from one to another,
And some scarcely know the love of a mother.
And I’ve never known a monkey so selfish to be,
As to build a fence around a coconut tree,
So other monkeys can‘t get a wee taste,
But would let all the coconuts there go to waste.
Why, if I’d put a fence around this coconut tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me.
And here is another thing a monkey won’t do:
Seek a cocktail parlor and get on a stew.
Carouse and go on a whoopee disgracing his life,
Then reel madly home and beat up his wife.
They call this all pleasure and make a big fuss–

The last theory and only theory which I as Christian can relate to is,  that we all descended from Adam and Eve. This is the only theory that makes absolute sense. The line of human kind can be traced back to the beginning of time. The first skeleton was found in Ethiopia. This is also believe where mankind started. Other theories believe life spread from Mesopotamia. If one reads the Bible, it would appear that the first form on earth was in Africa. So if life started here, why are Africans so cruel to one another? On these soil the first form of life started and now blood soaks the earth on a daily basis.

I always believed that we are all connected as human beings, but we can be so cruel to our brothers and sisters. We breakdown this place we call earth and refuse to give a helping hand to those who need it most sometimes. We look at differences, skin colour, traditions and cultures and everything that makes us different from one another. Quick to point out others faults, in order to make ourselves feel better. We kill one another, because the fear of indifference has taken control. We justify the non association with certain people on the grounds that we don’t understand where they come from, but sometimes hardly know our own roots. We conform to the norm and follow tradition, never questioning if my tradition aids hatred, why I would hurt another human being in that manner.

Where do we come from? No one can really tell. All thing we all can say for sure is that we are certainly not molecules or ape like figures. I believe in the concept of coming and being formed from this earth. My heart just bleeds for mankind, that we have lost our way so much, that we forget that we all are connected in one way or another. We all feel, we all bleed and we are all part of this earth. And when we die, we will return to this earth.

MISS C     

Posted in Life, Love and Relationships


We all have those days when Debbie Downer pays us a visit. But for some of us it get’s so bad that everything that is wrong in one’s life get’s examined.

As a woman I have a lot of insecurities, like all woman do. But when those insecurities hit me, boy do they hit hard. It gets so bad that when I look in the mirror I do not see a pretty woman. I very much feel like an ugly colored woman. That does not have sleek hair or a perky nose. Thinking to myself, who would want someone like me. So Debbie reminds me of all the things I need to change about myself. This all being my physical appearance, because maybe if I was prettier people would treat me better. Rather than looking at someone with a resting bitch face, that they immediately assume are snobbish or thinks they are better than others.

This morning, when I thought about all the things that are important to me. I realized that I already have everything I need. And I though about listening to Debbie and her opinion about my looks. I asked my internal self, is how I look more important than my heart? I thought about what happened to the girl who wanted to save the world and if she cared about how she looked? The obstacles in her way? Or how she would fight adversity? For that girl, all those obstacles did not matter. Not even how she would get there, just that she would. 

In life, it is very hard to be graceful after being kicked in the gut too many times. Looking people who you do not necessarily like in the eye and treating them with the necessary respect. I thought about how easy one lets Debbie tell her piece, while you have the power to silence her. Ones looks will never ever make up for a beautiful and graceful heart. Today I decided to kick Debbie’s ass. I am so grateful that I was born in the country I was born in. I appreciate my small and unconventional family, because most kids do not even know the love of a good mother. I am thankful for knowing such amazing people who has enriched my life so much. 

I have found my inner voice and decided to write a different heart song. I will look in the mirror and say to myself, you may not be the prettiest biatch in the world, but you are still a very lucky and fortunate one.